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Once I spent a weekend in a beautiful hotel in the great city of London. My family and I had planned to stay four days to visit the city and soak in the beautiful culture the city has to offer. I am sad to say that we did not have the experience we expected at all, causing a very confusing and possibly traumatic trip for myself and my family.

It all started when we arrived in the hotel room, which by our standards was far too clean. Being overwhelmed with the sweet and fresh smell of the room once we opened the door and not finding a speck of dust in all of the room already frustrated our senses to a point of breaking. We saw ourselves forced to empty our luggage on the floor and pass wind inside for several hours until we reached a measurable comparison to our permanent residence.

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But the straw that broke the camel’s back was surely when we entered the lavatory and found far too many fresh and clean towels at our disposal. Even if we were to dry of each limb with a different towel there would still be fresh towels left. We were so distressed at the sight of so many towels that we saw ourselves forced to hide them in our luggage as to not have to further struggle with the sight of such a blinding white obstacle.

When we turned to the front desk in an attempt to complain, the receptionist was far too welcoming and kind when we described our troubles and insisted in offering us a free meal in the spectacular hotel restaurant and reserving one of the best London VIP tables (check luxguestlist.com ) in the famous Libertine club in the center of your city.

As we dined on the far too fresh and tasty meal, only surpassed by the spectacular complimentary wine and even better personal attention presented by our host and waiter, our taste palates were taken to new heights, numbing all further meals we could possibly try to enjoy. The worst of the meal is that the photo my child put on Instagram of his plate received so many hits, that he has now turned a professional influencer receiving several contracts of advertisement worth many tens of thousand per month. This has caused my only child to move out of our basement and even buy us a family vacation house on the beaches of sunny spain.

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Seeing as we felt more refreshed and energised after the dinner, we decided to visit the club the far too handsome receptionist had reserved for us. After enjoying the surprisingly traditional, cheap and quick travel to the club in a typical London taxi, once we arrived, we were rushed passed the long queue of people waiting at the door, right to a prepared table in VIP section of the club.

Seeing as the other clubgoers were much younger than we are, at first we decided to have only one glass of the complimentary bottles offered to us by our hostess. Sadly, after hearing the great music which was playing, we noticed our bodys move to the rhythm on their own, floating down to the dancefloor and entwining with the rest of the clubbers in an ecstasy of visual and audio delight.

After spending several hours on the dancefloor, we managed to return to our table, where we were approached by our hostess and asked if we could be so kind as to share our table, which was clearly to big for my small family, with some other guests named Madonna and Rihanna. Two people who apparently don’t have last names, even though we asked. Since we are a friendly folk and have no problem sharing, we were glad to comply, not expecting the long and entertaining conversation offered to us by our new guests. Even after the club closed and we were allowed to stay longer to finish our cups and conversations, nobody could have expected the late, or early, hour in which we finally arrived at your hotel once again. And even though none of my family had ever ridden in a limousine, we found the experience far too extravagant and accommodating to truly be enjoyed.

When we finally awoke in the comfortable bed we had, we noticed right away, that we had been pampered far beyond our means and would never be able to sleep comfortably anywhere else ever again.

In retrospect, I am sure that this trip, if it wouldn’t have fortified our family relationship, would have completely shattered it, due to the far too helpful and welcoming treatment we received.

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