If you’ve already agreed to marry someone, likely, you felt instinctive when they proposed that it was what you wanted. While there are plenty of legitimate reasons for you to have a change of heart, in most instances, and the absence of any significant circumstantial changes or revelations, they’re probably just wedding jitters. In which case, you need to try to fight the urge to back out of the wedding and remind yourself why you said yes to begin with.
1. Spend quality time with your partner
The period leading up to a wedding is often filled with so much planning and organization that it’s hard to spend as much quality time with your partner. It’s important to still make time for romance and to do things together that have no connection whatsoever to the upcoming wedding. If you maintain enough of the core habits you and your partner had before the wedding date started to loom, you will remain more confident about why you’re getting married in the place.
2. Don’t let wedding plans stress you out
Another possible reason for you to back out of the wedding is stress leading to arguments with your partner. When you do run into disagreements it can paint a negative picture of what married life might be like and lead to a knee jerk reaction about the wedding. It is important to remember that planning a wedding is a very stressful and also highly usual situation that doesn’t reflect what day-to-day life will be like with your beloved on the other side of all the madness and tricky decisions.
When you do get consumed by the stress of planning the wedding, remind yourself what the wedding is really for – to celebrate the love you feel for another person and begin a new life together. Come up with a democratic way to handle disagreements about wedding-related decisions and consider hiring a professional wedding planner to help you out.
3. Keep doing the things you love
One of the other reasons why you might change your mind about getting married is if you panic that everything will drastically change once you’re married. But the truth is, you are control of your own life, and it’s up to you to make sure your new status compromise doesn’t compromise other things that are important to you.
Make the time for hobbies, interests, and essential relationships even while you are busy planning the wedding, and it will remind you that nothing will change unless you let it. You might have to shift priorities in some respects, but you certainly don’t need to change who you are at your core.
4. Talk to your partner
You need to verbalize to your partner about how you feel continually. If there are recent changes that took place, you have to confront your partner about them. If you felt offended by what happened while you were planning the wedding, you also have to open up; it’ll help if you share what you think instead of keeping it from them. You’ll want to maintain this line of communication until you get married as otherwise, you may be building a relationship not founded on trust (which is never good).
5. Do things as you usually would
Just because you’re already planning the wedding doesn’t mean things have to change. If you have a career, you can still go to work. If you spend time with your family each night, you can also do it. Your fear that things are about to get worse when you get married will make you run away from that commitment, and that’s not a good thing.
6. Avoid overthinking
You think about a lot of unnecessary things as you plan your wedding. For instance, if your partner doesn’t have extensive involvement in planning the wedding, you think of it as a lack of commitment. Avoid doing things that are only going to hurt you in the long run. If you worry that your partner doesn’t commit to the wedding at all, you need to have an honest conversation about it. Each time you overthink, you come up with unnecessary thoughts, so you’ll have to let your partner know.
7. Decide now
If you think that you couldn’t pursue the wedding, you have to make up your mind now. You don’t want to cancel the entire plan or even embarrass your partner close to the wedding date. You have to think hard before you decide to call off the wedding. However, if you realize that you have unrealistic thoughts right now, you need to write off the idea of canceling the wedding. You already went through a lot to make it happen and can’t let your emotions prevent you from seeing it through.
8. Focus on the best bits of your wedding planning
It helps if you hire a wedding planner to make it easier for you to coordinate with suppliers and ask for specific details you want for the wedding. When you get frustrated with small information, return to something that has already been secured and finalized that makes you feel happy and inspired again. For example, if you were over the moon about securing a picturesque wedding venue like Heythrop Park, take a minute to look at their gallery, or even visit the grounds to remind yourself what a perfect backdrop it will be for your special day. Then when you return to the planning stage, other details and compromised might seem less frustrating. What’s more, by continually returning your focus to the things you’re happy with, you will remain positive about the wedding itself.
Getting married is a lifetime commitment, and you only do it when you’re confident with the person you’re going to marry. Therefore, before you make that commitment, you have to feel good about it. You need to understand that marriage is something you work on, and there’s no formula for a successful marriage – each relationship is different from the rest. You need to continue growing your relationship and take time to know each other at a deeper level. You can’t expect the path to be smooth, but it can be very satisfying and memorable.