Unfortunately, there are many families that grow apart for one reason or another. It goes from bad father-daughter relationship to toxic relationships between siblings. So, what happens when you lose touch with your brother or sister? How do you move on? Here’s what some people say about their estrangement from their siblings.
1. “All my photos were banished from the house”
“[My brother and I] didn’t speak for seven years. I was a teen parent, let’s just say it didn’t make me a popular member of the family. I wasn’t allowed to visit my mum’s home if he was there (so always, unless he went on holidays) and all my photos were banished from the house, literally. None of his new friends from uni knew he had a sister. No Christmas with them. He got back in touch when it became necessary. On my side, I kinda regret accepting it, I should have kept my distance. But I wanted my kid to have access to our family so badly. I’ve also realized that I’m really wary of someone who didn’t speak to me for such a long time, and I’ll never trust them fully again. I thought I’d get over it, but apparently not.”
2. “We found out he was married through Facebook”
“I’ve not seen my brother in over a decade and neither have the rest of my family. In that time, he’s been married twice and had a kid. All of which we found out via Facebook stalking. I feel like it’s a really sad situation, but I do not miss the drama that he seems to carry with him wherever he goes.”
3. “We had an argument on social media”
“[It was over] some idiot disagreement on social media. The other sister slowly stopped calling and didn’t even bother calling me or texting me on my birthday. As far as I’m concerned, I’m an only child again, and an orphan since my mother ignores me and my kids.”
4. “He always seemed very detached from our family”
“The short and long answer is: I have no idea [how we became estranged]. At a certain point, he just sort of disappeared. I mean, we know where he is. His wife occasionally sends us cards. Some of my siblings have had occasional success meeting up with him. But several of us haven’t seen him since his wedding 13 years ago, and neither have my parents. I have no idea why. He always seemed very detached from our family, even as a kid. I guess he just didn’t bond to us. It ripped my heart out because I idolized him as a kid, and I miss my brother so much.”
5. “She used to be my best friend”
“My sister is a manipulative, belligerent, drunk who doesn’t give a shit for anyone but herself. She lost her house, nursing license, her marriage, family and her children. I rarely speak to her, and if so it’s a once a year text. She used to be my best friend, but I can’t take it anymore. I do miss her terribly though, but if she knew that she’d be taking advantage of it.”
6. “We’re too different”
“I was only close to my siblings when we were young kids. I grew apart from my oldest sister, who is seven years older than me, when I was probably around eight, and grew apart from my stepsister when we were about 10 (we’re only a few months apart). I was never close to my stepbrother. I’m 27 now, and I don’t really talk to any of them. We just never had that typical close sibling bond. I suppose I might be able to connect with my sister sometime in the future when we’re old farts and our parents are dead maybe. I could see us bonding over losing them. As dark as that sounds… I don’t think there’s really any chance of any sort of relationship with my step-siblings though. We’re just way too different.”
Even though it must be extremely difficult to accept the fact that you and your sibling have gone separate ways, you need to find a way to hang in there and cope with it your own way.